Putting Kids First

Phone us now at 250-220-8686 or use our contact us form.

Your initial half-hour consultation with one of our lawyers is of no obligation.

Please look at the below video to see what we mean when we say we are about Putting Kids First at Hemminger Law Group:

Putting Kids First is What We Do. We can help you with your questions about:

We all want to be good parents and do what is best for our kids. This means putting kids first.

For many of us, that means feeding them nutritious food, keeping a consistent routine, showing them our love, exposing them to some extra-curricular activities, making sure they get properly educated, and making sure they learn basic skills like hygiene etc. These responsibilities can be a lot of work and sometimes may be quite overwhelming. 

For separated parents, putting kids first is a priority. These responsibilities can be even more challenging to fulfill for separated parents.

The BC Family Law Act is the legislation in British Columbia that deals with these matters.

Yet, despite all we want to do to prepare our children to be successful in life, parents often engage in the most single damaging thing they can do to their kids. That is, be in conflict with the other parent. 

More than any other indicator, high conflict, guarantees trouble for children and their futures. 

See, in high conflict families, all the jobs of being a parent, that is the jobs of organizing nutritious food, keeping a consistent routine etc. is a hot-bed for potential conflict between the parents. Parents get wrapped up in believing that their way of doing things is better for their children and the other parent’s way of doing things is wrong or misguided. 

What they often do not realize is that the very act of being in conflict with the other parent is what causes the problem for the child. It is not whether or not the children’s routines were strictly adhered to by both parents or not, for example. Putting kids first often means letting things go.

Family researchers agree that parental conflict is the single largest predictor of a poor outcome for children and their future. The most powerful determinant is the level and intensity of the conflict between the parents. 

Although each child will deal with the parental conflict in his or her own way, the fact is that the likelihood they develop significant problems are much higher than children who come from families where high conflict is not present. 

These statistics are true whether or not the children’s parents are separated. 

Kids can act out by showing behavior problems, increased anger and inability to manage their anger, violent behavior, delinquency or gang involvement. 

Kids can sometimes turn the conflict inwards and experience depression, isolation, headaches, stomach aches, ulcers, self-cutting and substance abuse.

Some kids end up not interacting well with others and have poor social skills, low self-esteem and poor relationships when they become adults.

Finally, because when exposed to high conflict our brains release stress hormones, the repeated exposure to these stressors can impair the brain’s ability to grow and develop normally. In essence, the child is continually in “fight or flight” and his or her brain is not able to function. This results in not doing well in school, the inability to problem-solve, or Attention Deficit Disorder.

Parental conflict is toxic to kids. Parents who expose their kids to conflict unknowingly are literally serving up bits of poison to their kids’ brains each day. Parents putting kids first sometimes unknowingly don't realize how much the conflict can be damaging.

Just because your kids are not witnessing the conflict directly, don’t think that they will somehow be saved from the repercussions of conflict. The answer is not so simple as ensuring that your fights happen by way of text, email, or out of ear-shot of the children.

Contact us for your consultation. 

Phone us now at 250-220-8686 or use our contact us form.

Your initial half-hour consultation with one of our lawyers is of no obligation.

When you provide us with your personal information you can be assured it will not be shared with a third party and will be used only by HEMMINGER LAW GROUP  for the purpose of corresponding with our clients.

At Hemminger Law Group we commit to providing you with the highest quality legal information on this website. However, nothing on this website should be construed as actual legal advice. Every case is different and it is important that you consult a lawyer before making any decisions with respect to a legal matter.

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